Friday October 31
 
19:01
 
Up To 1 In 20 Is SAD

From the BEEB:

Because days get shorter the further north you go, SAD is more common in northern countries.

It really should be “Winter affective disorder” but WAD wouldn’t make anyone smile.

Wednesday October 8
 
15:17
 
Save Me From Me

With the aim of preventing us sending drunken emails we might regret later, between 10pm and 4am Friday and Saturday night s(configurable), Mail Goggles in Gmail will pop up 5 mathematical puzzles to solve before it will allow email to be sent.

I’m setting my Mail Goggles for Monday to Friday, 7am to 9am - not because I’m drunk, but because it’s the time when I’m most likely to wake up, not be arsed to get out of bed any further than the computer, and send a mail saying “I’m *cough* ill today and wont be in work.” If Mail Goggles could reply back with “Get off yer butt and get to work - you might not have a job tomorrow the way banks are going.” that would be very helpful.

Version 2 of Mail Goggles is rumoured* to note when you send to a new email address from mobile Gmail between the hours of 10pm and 6am Friday and Saturday nights, and then filter any subsequent emails from that address to a label “Girls you thought were pretty at the time but undoubtedly are not.” The word Girls will be configurable to Girls, Boys, and Sheep to cater for all genders and preferences, including Scots from Aberdeen+.

* By me

+ One benefit of multi-touch is that even sheep can text these days, since sheep feet are roughly the same size as fat fingers, and on pressing b on an iphone will automatically complete to baa. This can be a little confusing for dogs using the iphone who are advised to tap w for woof rather than b for bark.

Wednesday September 10
 
16:25
 
Blasphemy

503. A Red, Red Rode. Robert Burns. The Oxford Book of English Verse.

O my luve is like a red, red rose
That’s newly sprung in June;
O my luve’s like the melodie
That’s sweetly played in tune.
As fair art thou, my bonny lass,
So deep in luve am I;
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
Till a’ the seas gang dry.
Till a’ the seas gang dry, my dear,
And the rocks melt wi’ the sun;
I will luve thee still, my dear,
While the sands o’ life shall run.
And fare thee weel, my only love,
And fare thee weel, awhile!
And I will come again, my love
Tho’ it were ten thousand mile.

A Red, Red Rose by Robert Burns, 1794

Thursday June 26
 
15:15
 
No Bus Photos - We’re British

When I was last in the UK, I was almost detained and arrested for taking a photo of Yo-Sushi in a shopping mall. In my eyes, I was just a Scottish bloke wanting to show my Japanese friends “Finally there is a sushi restaurant in Glasgow!” In the eyes of Duncan, the “mall security official”, I was a potential terrorist wanting to blow up… Glasgow’s only sushi outlet.

At the time I thought I was just subjected to Duncan’s personal power trip - but it seems not:

Rob McCaffrey, 50, had apparently over 40 years built up an impressive 30,000 pics of buses, coaches and trams from across the globe, but has now put the lens cap on for good because he “keeps being mistaken for a terrorist and paedophile”.

He explained: “Since the 9/11 attacks there has been a crackdown on security and it seems everyone with a camera is now regarded as a potential criminal. The past two years have absolutely been the worst. I have had the most appalling abuse from the public, drivers and police over-exercising their authority.

For god sake people - we can’t even take photos of buses anymore?

A Gloucestershire Police spokeswoman clarified: “If a member of the public becomes suspicious of an individual taking photos in public and makes a complaint to a police officer, the officer will first discuss the matter with the photographer. Normally the individual is more than happy to disperse any suspicion by showing an officer their photos and one of the benefits of digital cameras is that this can be done on the spot.

“However, if the officer remains suspicious as to the content of the images or the photographers intentions they have the authority, under the Police and Criminal Evident Act, to seize the camera and arrest the individual.”

Laws are often created with good intentions - but are open to abuse. I took a photo of a sushi restaurant and I was threatened with being detained and reported to the police - on what basis? The current situation in the UK is ridiculous. We lived with the IRA bombing us for years and we never had this law stupidity.

Wednesday April 23
 
09:03
 
The Ugliest Band In The World

Last night I went to see what can only be described as the ugliest band in the world - Biffy Clyro. They are, however, a band full of surprises: they are Scottish but sound American; they’ve been going for years and I’ve never heard of them; and, most importantly, despite being hideously ugly - beards, unkempt hair, tattoos, etc and despite me not particularly liking the CDs that I’ve heard from them - they are one of the few bands that has blown me away live. I can’t remember any time in the past when I’ve heard new material at a concert and instantly liked it - usually I need to hear music on CD first.

Maybe now the CDs with grow on me, … though if I can’t get the image of the band out of my head, that’s very unlikely!