Wednesday October 8
 
15:17
 
Save Me From Me

With the aim of preventing us sending drunken emails we might regret later, between 10pm and 4am Friday and Saturday night s(configurable), Mail Goggles in Gmail will pop up 5 mathematical puzzles to solve before it will allow email to be sent.

I’m setting my Mail Goggles for Monday to Friday, 7am to 9am – not because I’m drunk, but because it’s the time when I’m most likely to wake up, not be arsed to get out of bed any further than the computer, and send a mail saying “I’m *cough* ill today and wont be in work.” If Mail Goggles could reply back with “Get off yer butt and get to work – you might not have a job tomorrow the way banks are going.” that would be very helpful.

Version 2 of Mail Goggles is rumoured* to note when you send to a new email address from mobile Gmail between the hours of 10pm and 6am Friday and Saturday nights, and then filter any subsequent emails from that address to a label “Girls you thought were pretty at the time but undoubtedly are not.” The word Girls will be configurable to Girls, Boys, and Sheep to cater for all genders and preferences, including Scots from Aberdeen+.

* By me

+ One benefit of multi-touch is that even sheep can text these days, since sheep feet are roughly the same size as fat fingers, and on pressing b on an iphone will automatically complete to baa. This can be a little confusing for dogs using the iphone who are advised to tap w for woof rather than b for bark.