Thursday February 28
 
13:10
 
A Slice Of Lemon Soju History

Searching to see whether Google has picked up on the fact that I’ve started writing again, I came across a webpage with a link to one my old posts).

Curious, I re-read the post.. and it made me smile. Ahh.. those were the days in Korea ;)

Since my old blogs are no longer public, I’m going to reproduce the post again here. A piece of Lemon Soju history.

28th July 2003: Do Koreans really have smaller penises than Westerners?

A week or so ago an American girl approached Mike and I in a bar on the pretense of interviewing foreign teachers about their experiences in Korea to ask the question: Do Koreans really have smaller penises than Westerners?

You may remember I wrote about it before. Again, why she should think Mike and I would know the answer to this, I don’t know. A bit of simple active market research would have given her her answer.

Well I think I’ve have found her answer. And thankfully it didn’t even involve looking at any guys penises. Maybe she had some intuition about approaching us after all.

Every day I receive about 100 pieces of junk mail.

In that junk mail guaranteed about 20% will be adverts for Viagra or for some online pharmacy offering Viagra or for some way to add an inch to your penis.

Every single one of those junk mails has one thing in common. They all originate in America. They are all targeted towards Americans.

I’ve never seen a single email in Korean or English offering a natural or unnatural way to extend your penis, or a way to keep it up, to Koreans.

I can only draw one conclusion from this. It’s not the Koreans who have the small penises.

Now I’m sorry if that’s offensive to any Americans, but lets look at the evidence.

Every day 20 pieces of junk mail about extending or keeping limp American penises hard.

Every day no such mail about Korean knobs.

Now you could say that America is a larger country, so would generate more mails. On the other hand, Korea has the highest internet penetration (pun not intended, but I like it anyway) of any country in the world, so you would expect a lot of junk mails in Korea.

However, even ignoring internet penetration, we can see the population of the countries is irrelevant. The USA is the third largest country in the world, with a population of about 280 million. South Korea is the 25th largest country in the world, with a population of about 45 million.

So South Korea has 6 times less people. Let’s even up the junk figure by multiplying the 0 of South Korea by 6.

Still 20 v 0.

You could also say that Korea doesn’t yet have Viagra. Fine. But even before Viagra, the ratio was the same. Now the herbal cures have been replaced by Viagra.

You could say that I don’t have a specific Korean email address. But one of my emails has ’soju’ as the domain. The other is a dot com and isn’t specifically American. I have a Yahoo Hong Kong (.com.hk) email yet I don’t receive Chinese junk about small dicks, only American Junk. My friends with Korean email addresses experience the same ratio as above.

I can come to no other conclusion than Koreans don’t need Viagra or penis extensions. Maybe it’s the Kimchi working its magic again.

And I have one piece of advice for Bush. If you don’t want the world to think that your country is full of people with small limp penises, do something to stop America’s junk mail polluting the world. Something a bit more effective than what you’ve done to stop America’s pollutants polluting the world.